More.

What exactly do I spend my time doing. I feel like lately I have so much spare time. At first it felt good being able to relax and nap when I please but now it has gotten really old. I do not want to look back and realize that I spent a countless number of hours sleeping, online, and doing a whole lot of nothing. 

That's boring.

Life should be fun, spent doing things you love, discovering new things you want to do and making memories. So |MORE| that is what I am getting at do |MORE|. Get busy doing all kinds of things, find things you hate, find things you like, things you love. Discover new hobbies, new adventures and new friends. Enjoy life and do life. 

I want to make sure I do |MORE| and invest in my life. Because one day my capabilities will dwindle and all I will have left are the thoughts & memories from my past running through my head. I want to be able to smile looking back on the things I have done. I do not want to be angry at my past or even full of regret on the things I should have done, tried and did not do. I want smiles and not frowns. 

A great life is worth the effort, so do not short change yourself, go for it! You owe it to yourself to have a wonderful life. If you fail try again, if you keep failing, keep going until you succeed and as my professor always says "If you fail the first 99 times, you are normal."

Stop doing less and do more.   

my |MORE| to-do list

More time with friends.

More catching up with old friends.

More phone calls. 

More adventures.

More road trips.

More family time. 

More Volunteering.

More listening. 

More Generosity.

More Prayer.

More Responsibility.

More Devos.

More focus.

More JESUS.

More Hobbies. 

More Love. 

More Happiness.

More Reading. 

More working out.

More eating healthy. 

More good days. 

More doing life, and being happy with my own life. 

And the truth is my list can go on & on because life is a forever learning experience. But these are the things that I am wanting to be my focus now. I only posted them to give you an insight on what I am talking about and maybe things you can work on to. I hope you can learn to do |MORE| with your own life, that like me you can look back and be happy with the life you have lived and the things you have done. I hope you got something out of reading this, and that it was a blessing and encouraging. Have a wonderful day.

Xoxo, Vanessa

"Fond memories are a result of good relationships and interesting puzzles.-John Mohan"

learning to love.

"I love you."
Three of the most simplest words in the english language, yet they carry the most meaning. 

Lately I have been put to the test, what is love? what does it really mean to love a person? 
I use these words quite often, but do I really mean them when I say them?

"Bye, I love you mom."
"Hey girl I hope you're doing well, I love you."
"Hey hun, I love you."
"love, you."

I use them so much. 
But recently it has been heavy on my heart that love is such a powerful word. Am I actually using love and expressing love the way it should be? 

In 1 corinthians 13:4-7 it states: 

^"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

That^ is what Love is. In my opinion not putting yourself first but putting yourself last. A lot of sacrifice needs to be done because it is now two people not one. I have realized that I truly am in love, but was not making that person a priority in my life. It took loosing the person that meant the most to me to find out what I actually had. Eventually I pushed him away, far enough and he was gone. As time went by I looked back on that relationship and learned so much about myself. I found a lot that I liked and a lot that I did not like. Love is not just taking everything you are given but also learning to give back. Love is not a one way street. Love is about two people coming together to make one. 

Sacrifice: It can be one of the hardest things and one of the trickiest things to understand. When you are with someone you love, you cannot expect everything to be perfect because the truth is life happens, disappointments happen, and disagreeing occurs. No one is perfect, not even close and no one will ever be. Eventually something is gonna happen and you are not going to see eye to eye. Sacrifice comes in play when you learn that their needs matter as well. When they are upset about something you did you need to learn to work through it, put your own needs aside and listen to what they have to say, what they think needs to be changed. Be patient, it is not easy but it is necessary. If you are not willing to sacrifice anything, things eventually begin to crumble. God gave up his only son, one of the biggest sacrifices known to man, just so that we can all be blessed and live an abundant life. If He did that for us, imagine all you could do for your other half. Love like He did and how He continually does.

 ¹⁶ And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.(1 John 4:16) 

Appreciate the little things: because trust me when that disappears you will realize that those little things are what you miss the most.  The sweet text messages, the hand written letters, just because phone calls, his corny jokes, all the small gestures. Things that money cannot buy are what we need to value because when they are gone, you will see what I mean and that might be too late. The gifts are nice but they are just gifts, the little things, the details are what make things special. Gifts lose value, gifts can be destroyed, broken and the list goes on. But the little things can become some of your favorite memories. You cannot put a price on free. 

Give: Do not just sit there and continually take and take. Learn that he also wants to feel that you are giving back to him. Why would you want to give everything you have to someone who is not going to give back. And by this I do not mean just the material things, but give love, give encouragement, give happiness,give praise, give yourself. You are a team and there is no reason why one person should do all the giving. It's a two way street.

Confession: Admit when you are wrong, admit when you messed up. As humans it is easy to offend, annoy, and bother others. What is not easy is admitting something you do not want to admit. But having the courage to fess up when you did wrong is what can make all the difference in the world for him. So learn to say sorry and learn to make things right even when it is not easy. 

Don't take him for granted: Do not grow tired of saying please and thank you. Continue to show him you appreciate him and all that he does for you.  Being taken for granted is an ugly feeling, how do you like it when you go out of your way to do something for someone and they cannot even say thank you, it is not so great. Because if he truly loves you, he loves you at your best and he loves you at your worst, but that is no reason to disrespect him or belittle him. He will be there for you from beginning to the end, he will be the one you can count on but are you doing the same for him?

Lift him up: support him. Their dreams eventually become your dreams as well. He needs to know he can count on you for whatever it may be. Encourage him. Words have crazy powers, use them to build him up not to break him down. Why would you want someone who all they seem to do is talk down on you? exactly you would NOT want that, so why would you do it to him? Remember, words can hurt & cannot be taken back once they are said. Pray with him, pray for him. He is your other half and when they hurt you hurt. Be happy for him and be happy with him. Through the good and the bad you are there, and he needs to know you are always going to be there. 

Basically, I wrote this hoping to be able to bless others with the thoughts on my heart. We are no where near perfect, but why not learn from others mistakes and others life lessons. Take time to improve your relationship, improve yourself. Love is powerful, it can make or break a person. Do not go around looking for who is the better opportunity, look for the person who makes you a better person. The one who helps you learn and helps you grow. Because the truth is that what we usually think we need is usually what God knows we do not need. Only you and God can really know who is the right one and when you have found the one. Do not let the right one go, and make the most of it. Marriage is supposed to be a fun experience. A forever going, learning, maturing, and life experience. 

xoxo,
Vanessa Guzman 

"I wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have.-unknown" 

And it makes me wanna take a back road Makes me wanna take the long way home Put a little gravel in my travel...

 

Road Trips are the best time for photo shoots, well in my opinion. Traveling from my Seattle home to my Othello home on the weekends I get to see the prettiest sunsets, the clearest skies and enjoy my favorite tunes. My sister is my photographer. We try to make pit stops so we can do my outfit of the day post. This is a random field we pass on our way home that my dad swathed last summer and figured it would be such a fun and random place to go. I am wearing my favorite leather pants, a hi lo hem grey tank, sunglasses  all from (Nordstrom: BP), Jean jacket (American Eagle), grey boots and one of my favorite bags both by (steve madden), and a scarf my momma bought me in New York from Super Dry.   

In HIS image.

Ugly days, Fat days, Bad Hair Days... And the list goes on.

 Waking up in the morning getting ready for the day and not liking how something looks on me, how my hair turned out, what my make-up looks like. But you know what times ticking and I am already five minutes late. So I walk out and my day is based on how I look. As I am walking, there are things running through my head, "she looks so cute, that girl has pretty hair, her face is so flawless, she is so fit..." And all this comparing goes on and on. It makes me feel worse about myself and how I look that day. Since I already feel bad my day ends up being an "egh!" kind of day.

In all honesty we all have these days. A lot more than we should.
"You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
   there is no flaw in you." (Solomon 4:7)
Instead of getting consumed in the outer appearance we should be getting consumed in the word and learning about how Jesus views us. We were made in His image. He made everyone beautiful in their own way. I know that sounds so cliche but it is so true.

   In my case: 

   When I was in 7th grade I weighed about 135-140. I was fitting into my moms clothes. That is 22 years in age difference. And that is a lot of weight for a 4 foot & 11 inches 13 year old girl. Then I began to drop a lot of weight because I was so busy with sports by the beginning of my eighth grade year I was at 103. I was really skinny, everyone noticed, girls always told me, boys started liking me (I was always the good friend). I liked it, it felt good. When my freshmen year arrived I was not as involved in sports and could not find a way to keep my weight off. So I began to purge, I began to starve and work out a lot. This was consuming me. At school it was easy to keep up a front but at home I would let my guard down. I was always so cranky and mean with my family, always fighting with my mom. I was pushing my family away the farther they went the less they'd suspect of my eating disorder. Then I started getting into all sorts of trouble. Like boys, missing school, lying to my family, I was looking for a place where I belonged because home didn't feel like HOME anymore I didn't feel like a part of my family and I wanted out. My family was falling apart and it was all because I was separating them all. My mom trying to help me, my dad getting tired, my three sisters picking sides. My parents were planning on getting a divorce because my mom didn't want me anymore and wanted my dad to keep me. For him it was a sacrifice, that is the sad part. I felt like I was all alone. My 3.8 g.p.a went to straight D's. People say high school changes everyone and that turned out to be true in my case. I kept my habits going and I found myself so empty always, mad, sad, frustrated, bottled up with crazy emotions. I was looking for acceptance when that is not at all what I needed. Then towards the end of my sophomore year my family turned to Christ I was saved and that is when I began to realize the road I was going down was not the road i was intended for. 

NOW I can tell you that my family is the closest family I know, of course we fight sometimes but we're pretty tight knit. We are all saved, serving our Lord, living for Him. We were all transformed. We ALL believe that if I had not gone through this stage in my life who knows where we would all be at. So in a way my rebelliousness, my sickness, my stage was a way of bringing my family to Christ, to be who we are as a family today. A family with a purpose, we strive to be loving and to be as united as possible.

This is Kayla, Melissa, Kattie. My sisters:)

As for me: Yes, I still deal with self image issues. But tell me, what girl doesn't? And every time I start to feel low my Jesus reminds me that "I AM BEAUTIFUL!" He sees NO FLAWS. That was an awful season in my life but it brought out so much good. Every situation has a purpose. A lot of what went on in those two years shaped me in to who I am today.

& that would be Me:)

So you see we get all caught up in the newest trends, what our bodies should look like, what we should be eating, what we should be wearing. When the truth is we should be getting caught up in how He views us, we should be reflecting what He has taught us and continues to teach us. Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:1) We should all be perfecting our hearts because in the end that is whats going to reflect on the outside. Not all pretty faces, have pretty hearts. Do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear. (1 Peter 3:3) Don't fall into that category. Our God wants us to be like him. A person with a loving, forgiving, honest, caring heart. Those are only some of the many qualities that He has. We should strive to have every single one He is. It is not always easy but it is achievable. He will not offer anything He knows we cannot do. We NEED to find joy in Him and not in people, nor places, or things. 

When YOU learn to reflect the image of God YOU will be able to see more and more that YOU are beautiful. YOU are made in His image. YOU were fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) 

-xoxo Vanessa